The Quiet Man

When I was a teenager, a game called The Bouncer came out. It was an early PS2 game, when the PS2 desperately needed new games. But the reviews and chat around the Babbage’s was that The Bouncer was bad. Short, repetitive, linear. A good looking but dumb beat-em-up. I didn’t play The Bouncer, largely because of this reputation but also because I was pretty broke.

The Quiet Man is a The Bouncer for this generation. I should have treated it accordingly.

This game is a movie that you play. Half of it is cutscenes. The other half is a simple beat-em-up, except that the game does nothing to explain its own systems. How to fight, how to counter, how to finish a fight, none of that is explained at all. It’s also extremely cheap and frustrating. The button that dodges attacks will dodge right into the attack even if you’re pulling away from the punch. Some enemies seemingly can only be beaten with a special attack mode, but I couldn’t figure out what it took to trigger. Overall, terrible gameplay.

But half of the game is cutscenes, and these are all professionally shot. It’s not a bad looking game and blends well between cutscene and gameplay. But your character is deaf and the whole game is from his perspective. In a completely bizarre stylistic choice, you can’t hear anything. Every spoken word sounds like muffled harps. Even your own sign language isn’t captioned. You can’t do anything but watch a mostly silent movie.

You can’t skip cutscenes, even if you’ve already seen them. You can’t save mid chapter, and most chapters start with a long cutscene. Once you finish the game once, you can replay it with the actual dialog and sound back in. But you’ve suffered enough, really. Doing this twice is just cruel.

Do not play The Quiet Man.