Personal Nonsense

“I have to kill Evan”

Spoilers for Fallout 76.

“I’ll make dinner as soon as I finish this. I have to kill Evan.”


“Yeah, Evan. Evan is the Overseer’s high school sweetheart. When they finished high school, she went to the Overseer school and he went to the mines. When it came time to enter the vault, she could have brought Evan with her but she didn’t. There were many more qualified people to save, so she waived her spousal exception. When the vault opened, she came to the mine to find him. Turns out he’s a mole man, or some kind of mutant.”


I enter the area marked “Kill Evan”. I unbar a door and open it. Behind the door is a feral ghoul, whom I shoot right in the face with a shotgun. Evan dies immediately. An achievement pops. I absolutely lose my mind laughing.

“Wait, was that it? It took you longer to explain who Evan was than it did for you to kill him.”

“Yep. I killed Evan.”