Thoughts on completing my first triathlon

Pre-swim: “Okay, the water isn’t as cold as I thought it was going to be. And the distance doesn’t look as far in person as it does on the map. I can do this.”

Five minutes into the swim: “Oh jesus. Oh god. I’m fucking dying. I’m done for.”

I saw one of the lifeguards in a canoe and thought “I’m doing it. I’m going to swim to them and tell them to pull me out. I was not ready for this.” But some other dude was closer and he wanted to hang off of the boat, and I saw another dude swimming on his back and that looked like a good idea. When I started swimming on my back, I felt much better, even if I was going very slowly.

The wave after mine went past me. That was a little demoralizing. I was on the longest swim of my life. I saw my sister, and she was having a hard time too, so I felt less bad. She was marginally better prepared than I was.

The swim seemingly took forever. I cannot understand how people can swim so fast. I learned that I am not a good swimmer. Not even close.

Out of the water: “Why is my right hand going to sleep? I am dizzy. I cannot run to transition. I’m going to die out here. This is it.”

My sister got out of transition a couple minutes before I did, but I’m better on my bike than she is, so I passed her pretty quick and that was great. I passed a few people who beat me on the swim that were having a harder time on the bike.

I got rained on during the bike ride. It only motivated me because I’m good on my bike and I know rain is going to make other people do worse. I don’t know if they did, but I felt better. I got passed by a few people, but they were on the olympic tri, and obviously in much better shape. Some asshole honked at us from behind for some reason.

Post-bike: “…”

I had no thoughts. I knew I wasn’t going to walk but I did sandbag the hell out of that run. My legs weren’t tired, but I was still totally gassed from the swim. I had some pain in my chest and that was longest 3.1 miles I’ve ever run.

Post-run: “NEVER AGAIN.”

I beat my sister, but she was so close behind on the run that she probably got a better total time. I’m never doing this again.

Then again, I said the same exact thing after my first half marathon, and then I did two half marathons on the next year.

I’m going to feel this shit tomorrow.