Agent Michael Scarn, FBI

I’ve started Alpha Protocol. It seems like a logical next step after finally finishing Deus Ex. The reviews weren’t joking when they said the character customizations were limited. The choices are hipster douchebag or hipster douchebag with a Castro beard. I went with hipster douchebag with a Castro beard. My first actual mission did not go well. I kept getting spotted or I was too loud or something because alarms kept going off and I had to shoot my way out.

Hacking in this game sucks. It involves matching patterns in a constantly shifting sea of characters. I am apparently not great at telling the difference between a quickly changing letter and a letter frozen because it’s part of a string. Thankfully bypassing electronics is not that hard and lockpicking is dead simple. Because this is a spy game, I feel like I should be more sneaky than destructive so I’ve been dumping my experience points into stealth, which is paying off. I’ve gone from setting off every alarm everywhere to being able to sneak up behind dudes and stab them in the throat. I only set off an alarm in the last mission because I failed on an electronics bypass.

Anyway, it’s not Deus Ex but it is pretty enjoyable. I’m playing it seriously but I kind of wish I could play it like a shitty James Bond.